LESSON #4: Things are Never that Bad, AKA Someone Always Has it Worse Than You.

A couple of weeks ago a friend was telling me about all the crap she was going through in her life (a divorce, failure of a business, etc), and I told her she shouldn’t feel bad. Everyone has to eat some shit now and then, this time it was her turn.  I then added that other people have it way worse.   I have no idea why I said this, except that maybe I’d taken leave of my body, or entered some kind of idiot fugue.  I can’t think of anything less comforting than someone blandly telling you your shit is not that shitty as other people’s shit.   It’s far more impactful when you have a specific example…like my uncle Don.

Don sent me a note the other day, outlining the kind of year he had:  his liver failed, he had a heart attack, then pneumonia, then cirrhosis of the liver which developed into cancer.  He went through liver transplant surgery, coded twice and was brought back from the dead both times, and at one point dropped to just 98 pounds.

Now THAT is a world of shit, but I am perversely grateful for his misfortune. You see, his problems gave my problems a true sense of proportion.  Don made me understand that things for me could be much worse…without me going through the inconvenience of things actually being worse.

Don ended his note saying he’s back up to 150 pounds, he’s lifting weights again and he’s never been happier in his life.  If he can get survive all that with such grace, then surely I can find the will to do the same.

LESSON #5: It Takes More Than a Year to Be a Better Man.

I can do better than 50 eggs...

This year, I chose four role models, men whose example I thought I should follow if I wanted to be a Better Man: Leonardo Da Vinci, Benjamin Franklin, Theodore Roosevelt, and Paul Newman.   The one thing they all had in common is they were committed to improving themselves – but they didn’t take a year to do it and then quit.   For these men, betterment was a lifelong pursuit, and it would be hubris to think I could do in year what these men took their lifetimes to achieve.

That’s why I’ve decided to keep trying be a Better Man beyond this year, and I will keep writing about my (mis)adventures.   To all those people who’ve asked me if I’ve become a Better Man, the most I can tell you is that I’m better than I was yesterday, but not as good I will be tomorrow…hopefully.  Keep reading and see what happens next.

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