It doesn’t end with politics. Don is unapologetically blunt where I’m exceedingly polite.  He’s a devout Christian, and says God has been a constant presence in his life, whereas I have rarely felt God’s presence anywhere save for the guilt I feel when I masturbate.   Don is lean and compact like an athlete, despite saying he never hits the gym.  By contrast,  I am cursed with my dad’s “barrel chest” – I can work out as much as Michael Phelps and I’ll never have Don’s perfect “V” shape which he proudly declares he put no effort into creating.

Despite this, I can think of no uncle I love or respect as much as Don.  Admittedly, we share a life-consuming passion for motorbikes, but that’s not the source of my admiration.   I have learned a lot from Don, whether he intended to teach me or not. Thanks to him,  I’m always trying to do the following:

1. Count my blessings.  Don loves his wife, loves his seven kids…loves his life, really. That’s not to say that he doesn’t put up with his fair amount of shit. Rather, he just knows to focus on the things that matter, and because of it he can weather the other stuff with humour and grace.
2. Practice enlightened self-interest. Don doesn’t believe in free rides…doesn’t believe in free anything, really,  except maybe a free market.   As far as he’s concerned, everyone pays their own way, but he’s not oblivious to the fact that some people have more advantages than others.  That’s why for years Don’s been trying to level the playing field by working with youth groups and in some cases getting those youths to work on his home development projects.  He gets cheap labour,  they learn character and the value of hard work. Everybody wins.
3. Feel good about myself. Don is not exactly as tall as Shaq – he’d probably have to stand on his toes Just to see eye-to-eye with Muggsy Bogues.  The hair on the top of Don’s head looks as freshly planted as an Iowa corn crop, and he’s often the butt of his children’s jokes (“I know it says in the Old Testament that I can execute my insolent children, but they’re just so funny”). However, if you were to ask he’d tell you there’s no one smarter, more charming or more handsome than himself.  Don is just tickled to be Don.  I asked him how he manages to feel this way, and he said “I don’t know.  I just kept reminding myself to feel good about who I am until I actually did.”  It seems so simple, you feel stupid for not thinking of it first.
4. Work hard, play hard. Don is in his early 60s, and people half his age have trouble keeping up. I know this because I am half his age and can barely keep up with him. Whether it’s snowboarding, motorbiking…even just walking…Don moves with the pace of someone acutely aware of how fleeting and precious our time on earth is. If you read number 5, you’ll understand why.
5. Suck it up. Back in the 70s, Don was involved in a terrible accident on his motorcycle that almost killed him. He survived, but his face was horribly disfigured.  It required several painful surgeries to correct the damage.   During one of those surgeries Don was given a tranfusion of tainted blood from the Canadian Red Cross (one of many victims of a scandal that dominated Canadian headlines in the 90s).  As a result, Don contracted hepatitis C, and his liver started to fail about 5 years ago, although he showed no signs.  He and I once rode to Grand Coullee, Washington from Vancouver the day after doctors told him that his condition makes no sense, that he should be bedridden.  Don would hear none of it.  He felt great, and he wasn’t about to let something as simple as life-threatening hepatitis wreck his weekend.

I bring all this up because Don’s liver failed in earnest a few months ago, and he’s been waiting in hospital for a transplant.  He finally received one (from his daughter Rachel) on the same day I took my nephew Jake to see The National. There’s still no word if he’ll make it or not.

After the concert I took Jake home, and as we rode on my motorbike I started thinking about what an interesting person he’s become.  It occurred to me that I don’t need Jake to agree with me on anything, but knowing I might provide him with a principle or two by which he can live his life is incentive enough to try and be a Better Man.  Perhaps one day Jake will actually draw from his uncle’s example,  just as I’ve drawn from mine.

Pages: 1 2