buddy learns a valuable lesson in character

It’s now been a while now since I started training with my affably sadistic Muay Thai coach, Derwin.   I’m probably a few decades away from stepping into the Octagon with Georges St. Pierre, but nonetheless I’ve improved: my punches come with a nice little snap; I no longer have to remind myself to rotate my hips when I throw punches; I don’t drop my hand and expose my jaw when I initiate a swing kick; and my combinations don’t unravel into series of painfully awkward bitch slaps (as much).   Derwin has used a lot of great methods to achieve this pathetically modest result, but few have proven as effective as when he simply hits me in the head and stomach repeatedly. Seriously – our best workout by far has been when the only thing I’m doing is taking blow after blow.

On its face it sounds a tad perverse, but considering that hits are something of a necessary job hazard for most fighters, knowing how to take one probably isn’t such a bad idea.  Which is not to say a fighter needs to like getting punched, only that taking a knock or two can really teach you something, such as…

1. …You’re Tougher Than You Think You Are. The most illuminating thing about a crack to the melon might be how well you can probably could stand it.   Admittedly, Derwin started light pretty light, but pretty soon he was throwing a few bombs.  He rung my bell more than a few times, and I did spend several days moving my nose around to see if it still ached, but honestly, I thought it’d be much worse. Actually, it probably would be if I’d just stood there and let him tune on me, but thankfully Derwin to took the time to show me how to…
2. …Always Be Prepared.  If you can’t block a punch, then lean into it (not away) – you increase time of impact, and decrease force.  If you’re taking a blow to the gut, tighten your abdominal muscles.  If you’re being hit in the face, clench your jaw, or if you can, lean your forehead into the punch (very hard up there).   Always keep your eyes on your opponent, protect your most vulnerable areas (jaw), and ALWAYS maintain your balance. But being physically prepared is one thing…
3. …What You Do After You’re Hit Is Every Bit As Important As What You Do WHEN You’re Hit.  Derwin hammers (pardon the pun) on this point a lot – martial arts are as much a mental game as a physical one.  Nothing can inspire bad choices quite like getting emotional when you’re hit.  Nothing can embolden your opponent like the sight of you getting angry or down on yourself when they hit you.  The best thing you can do is take it, shake it off, move on.   Keep your cool, and you’re morely likely to avoid costly mistakes, plus your opponent will think his weak ass shit can’t phase you (even if you piss blood afterwards).  There’s another word for this: poise.

I think you can see where I’m going with this – there’s something for a Better Man in every hit, both in the ring and life.  This isn’t news, even to me, but Derwin hitting me relentlessly is such a vividly poignant reminder that it’s almost like a revelation. That’s probably because I’d gone most of my life without getting in a fist fight.  I suppose that’s good, but I also know it made me absurdly afraid of pain.

The thing is, a lot of people are like this: fear of pain is their biggest motivator, and they go out their way to avoid it, putting themselves through all kinds of contortions that are likely worse for them than than the pain they’re trying to avoid.  But if you’re prepared and unflappable when the shit does fly (as it inevitably does), chances are it won’t seem so bad.  You’ll be more able to heed the advice of guys like Al Swearengen, the saloon keeper in the TV Series Deadwood:  “The world ends when you’re dead.  Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man, and give some back.”

So there you go – next time someone threatens to beat some sense into you, chances are that’s exactly what they’ll be doing. Consider it a favour.

I'm the one with the man tits.

A few posts ago I wrote about the Better Man’s need for a feeling of control – the sense that no matter what kind of crazy badass shit is going down, he’s got the mind set not to freak out, but to come up with a workable game plan.  Call it what you want – confidence, self-possession – it’s the one thing I believe underpins a Better Man’s existence. It’s the key to successfully managing fear and feeling like a man, and it only comes from knowing how to do stuff – I’m talking cool, manly stuff, like building a cabin without nails,  braking in a hairpin turn, or preparing human flesh for the other crash survivors.  2011 is the year I embody that feeling of control, and that’s why every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon I let a semi-pro Muay Thai fighter punch me repeatedly in the head.

Derwin...not as friendly as he looks here.

The puncher is this guy…Derwin Johnson, a personal trainer.  I befriended him this summer when I was developing a TV show based loosely on this blog.  I was considering him as a judge on the program, and for good reason – he’s got the kind of resume that shivers me testes: former infantry soldier, expert in kempo, muay thai, jiu-jitsu. Oh – he’s also a classically trained pianist.   Suffice to say, the man’s got skills. If there was ever a man to punch some sense into me, it’s Derwin.

Normally, Derwin spends his professional time applying his soldiering skills by leading one of the most strenuous boot camp workouts in town. He declares rather proudly that people vomit in the sessions, as though it’s a selling point.  That perhaps explains why he seems to think he’s doing me a favour as his glove pushes into my nose.

Despite this, Muay Thai training has been a huge improvement from last year’s aborted attempts at jujitsu.  Rockstar-cum-MMA fighter Robin Black had said jujitsu would be perfect for me – he called it “creative problem solving under duress” –  which, to me, is the one skill every Better Man should wish to have.

Unfortunately, about the only creative problem solving I managed to do was trying to figure out how to avoid getting paired up with the angry geek cursed with weaponized self-esteem issues and a penchant for free-balling under his gi. This is no dig at the gym I went to – the trainers were great – but there was a lot of theory and not enough practice.  About the only time I broke a sweat was when the angry geek almost choked me into unconsciousness.   Selfish as it sounds, I needed a class that would be only about me.

So far, much of Derwin’s instruction is punishment-based. But unlike jujitsu’s unanticipated punishment of feeling another man’s testicles on my head, I can see how Derwin’s punishment works to my benefit.    So far, I’ve learned some very important fighting techniques, such as…

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