Notice how my eyes are dead like a shark's....
Happy Canada Day, Steve!
Maybe you remember me – I sent you a letter back in January, asking if you’d show me what it takes to be a proper asshole. You see, it had occurred to me that trying to treat others as decently as I can wasn’t necessarily getting me anywhere, so perhaps being a Better Man involved chasing naked self-interest no matter how much it hurt and/or infuriated other people…in other words, the kind of things you do. I suspect you didn’t read that letter – although your bearing occasionally reminds me of Dwight Schrute (with less guile) you can still be a polarizing public figure when you want to be. I’m sure you’re inundated with more letters/death threats than 10 prime ministers could read in all their lifetimes combined, so it might be easy to overlook mine. Mind you, a part of me likes to think you did read it and haven’t replied because….well, that’s what an asshole would do.
Regardless of whether you got back to me or not, I figured I could at least learn from your example, but you’ve maintained a barometric control on your inherent douche-ness…you laid low during the Olympics, kept both your cool and a tight lid on the whole Afghanistan detainee thing. I was starting to feel a little cheated, that I wasn’t going to see the kind of assholery I’ve come to enjoy from you…that is, until the G20 last weekend.
I have to ask...doesn't it get hot wearing that thing?
Now, we both know that many hands have been wrung over the money you spent on security…a billion dollars, almost 51 times the cost of G20 security in Pittsburgh last year, and more than all security costs for previous G8/G20s combined. With that much cheese one could be excused for thinking you created a clone army of riot police, or perhaps hired the A-Team. One has to wonder how much of it actually went to security as opposed to, say, pork barrel projects in federal ridings that could prove crucial in the next election, but I’m just talking out my ass there – although if that did happen, then good for you! Supreme dick move/quasi abuse of power! (Oh wait, wasn’t that exactly the sort of thing you hammered the Liberals for during when the sponsorship scandal? Never mind.)
