I’ve written about Benji a couple of times before, and I can assure you that anyone looking for either inspiration or a feeling they’ve wasted their life will find both with Franklin.  The man came from humble means, with just two years of formal schooling, but that didn’t stop him from discovering electricity,  revolutionizing shipping by charting the Gulf Stream, inventing the modern post office, the modern public library, bifocal glasses, and the Franklin stove (which is still in use to this day).  After making himself fabulously wealthy in publishing by the age of 42, he retired and devoted himself to public service; he founded the University of Pennsylvania, created North America’s first fire department, and on the weekends he helped found the most powerful nation on earth. Later, he became that country’s first Postmaster and ambassador to England. The man got shit done. But Franklin biographer Walter Isaacson says that out of all Ben’s amazing accomplishments, perhaps “the most interesting thing Franklin invented, and continually re-invented, was himself”.

You see,  at some point, a guy does so much he’s thinks it’s okay to just to coast on his abundant street cred – have you seen Al Pacino or Robert De Niro in a movie lately?  That wasn’t how Ben rolled, though – if he was to remain the smartest smartypants in the colonies, he had to find a way to keep his game up, and that is why he came up with something in 1726 that I call the Ben Franklin Moral Virtue Matrix.

Now, this was not the matrix designed to subjugate humans so they may provide an abundant energy source for their machine overlords.  Think of Franklin’s version as “The Good Matrix”. However, the expectations it placed on a human were no less demanding.  You see,  Franklin conceived of his matrix as a way to help him attain moral perfection:   “I wish’d to live without committing any fault at any time; I would conquer all that either natural inclination, custom, or company might lead me into.”

You might say this was a little bigger than a New Year’s resolution to lose twenty pounds and stop flirting with his secretary.  Such an ambitious project  required a plan, which is why Franklin came up with a self-improvement program made up of 13 basic virtues:

1. “TEMPERANCE. Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.” Basically, don’t party like it’s the last days of Rome – advice I wished I’d followed in university.
2. “SILENCE. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.” In other words, say what you mean, and ONLY what you mean, and don’t talk trash about someone, no matter how much they deserve it.
3. “ORDER. Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.” To put it another way – don’t waste your time, or anyone else’s, and always know where your shit is at.
4. “RESOLUTION. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.” Say what you’re going to do, then go and fucking do it.
5. “FRUGALITY. Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.” If you don’t need it, don’t buy it. If you have it, don’t squander it.
6. “INDUSTRY. Lose no time; be always employ’d in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.” Couch surfing = verboten.  Unless you can prove couch surfing is an effective use of your time.
7. “SINCERITY. Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.” Tell the truth, no matter how much it might get you in trouble (I think this even applies to responding truthfully to “Do these jeans make my ass look fat?”)
8. “JUSTICE. Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.” Don’t start nuttin’, won’t be nuttin – simple as that.
9. “MODERATION. Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.” Flying off the handle is for losers.
10. “CLEANLINESS. Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, cloaths, or habitation.” Keep your shit tight.
11. “TRANQUILLITY. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.” Don’t sweat the small the stuff.
12. “CHASTITY. Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation.” Keep it in your pants unless you want to make babies (or if you think your health will suffer- kind of a big loophole if you ask me, but whatever).
13. “HUMILITY. Imitate Jesus and Socrates.” Don’t get to thinking that your shit don’t stink.

Of course, Ben being the meticulous, pragmatic sort that he is, carefully charted his progress. By that, I mean he literally kept track of his achievement of pure virtue with the use of charts:

Franklin made up a chart consisting of a column for each day of the week and 13 rows marked with the first letter of his 13 virtues.  At the end of every day, Franklin would sit down and score himself,  marking a dot next to each virtue he’d violated.     He had 13 charts, actually, because every week, he’d focus on a different virtue, placing it at the top of the chart.   The goal was to get as few dots on the chart as possible.  He’d go through a cycle of charts every 13 weeks, and then repeat the process again.

Franklin hungered for a dot-free existence, and he pursued it for much of his life.  Ultimately, though, Franklin himself fell short of perfection, undone by a profound love of both beer and women (he even fathered an illegitimate child).  Nonetheless, Franklin would say it was worth the effort:  ”Tho’ I never arrived at the perfection I had been so ambitious of obtaining, but fell far short of it, yet I was, by the endeavour, a better and a happier man than I otherwise should have been if I had not attempted it.”

Well, I can draw just one conclusion from this…if it was good for Ben, my philandering, beer-swilling polymathic hero, then perhaps it was good for me.   That’s why 23 weeks ago, I entered the Matrix, and started charting my path to pure virtue.  In my next post, I’ll share the results.

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