Chris’ Midterm Report Card aka All Downhill From Here!
PROJECT ARI GOLD
- I will consult with unapologetic assholes and and learn their principals.
GRADE: PASS – Stephen Harper still doesn’t reply though.
- I’ll put those lessons into practice (AFTER learning to fight, just in case).
GRADE: FAIL – I’ve been planning a project where I am an Asshole for a Day. If that turns out, maybe I’ll try an Asshole for a Week. With enough effort, perhaps I will become Asshole for Life (although some folks might argue I’m already there).
- I will read more Ayn Rand, the patron saint of assholes.
GRADE: FAIL – Sorry, but have you read Atlas Shrugged lately? Terrible Prose.
I suppose I could argue that I’ve achieved almost half of the things I set out to with half the year left, but that would be a tad disingenuous. The fact is, of the 30 or more goals I set out for myself, I am failing at two-thirds of them, and I will need to get my knees up and start applying myself if I am to be a Better Man by the end of year. Mind you, one could ask a simple question – do I at least feel Better? Strangely, I would have to say yes, but that has little do with any conscious effort on my part. If I’m less anxious and more peaceful today, it’s mostly by virtue of the unusual grace that comes from growing accustomed to failure as a lifestyle.
jac
Actually…you’ve already missed 4 sibling birthdays… the next birthday is moments away.. you can still get a card to him in time if you send today…. and after that you only have one more sibling birthday to remember and I’ll give you plenty of lead up time to that important day so you can produce the most amazing and perfect present and homemade card.
The Bitter Man
There had better be money in that card too …. tick tock!
Chris
Well, so long as I don’t miss your birthday, we’re cool, right?
Katie
I can’t believe it’s been almost a year since you started this!! Do you feel better?
Chris
Not as better as I would like to be. I need to do more shit that scares me, full stop, and that hasn’t happened often enough. I know it’s a lame excuse, but actually making money tends to get in the way. What’s more, I’m starting to think that getting better requires a lifetime, not just a year.
Chris
Tragically, I feel only marginally better, and only because I’ve learned to deal with constant crises as opposed to made tangible progress. Mind you, when I was in school I always did my best work on the night before the assignment was due, so maybe December will be profoundly life-changing.