So if you heard Rick Sanchez call Jon Stewart a Jew bigot this past Friday, you could be forgiven for thinking he was picking a fight to boost his profile.   As I said, the most I knew about Rick Sanchez was what I saw on The Daily Show, and as far as I can tell, the highlight of his career was being tasered on TV.

I’m sure being the punchline in a lot of Stewart’s jokes had to grind Rick a little – if you’ve worked closely with anchors (and I have) you’ll know that most of them think of themselves as the centre of anyone’s attention, the most smartest, cleverest, most attractive, charming people in the room.   They are the star of their own melodrama, with little room for an ensemble cast, so it had to chafe at Blurty’s self-image that someone smarter, funnier and more famous was making him a household name by pointing out all of his mistakes (My personal favorite: demanding a tsunami expert to explain to him what meters meant “in English”).

Call him mind-boggingly imprudent in the extreme if you want – I suggest to you now such intemperate comments could belie a certain savvy, as though Sanchez thought he had something to gain from ignoring common sense, swallowing his pride and vomiting up his prejudice.  Sure, going toe-to-toe with Stewart can be a big risk -  Tucker Carlson (the dude with the bow tie – remember him?) tried it, and his show got cancelled, and ultimately he was fired. I believe he now anchors the news on the Home Shopping Network.  Nonetheless, such a bold tactic could pay off (an invitation to appear on The Daily Show, perhaps?) but unfortunately Rick might’ve gone a tad off message. Not only did he call Stewart a Jew bigot, but his bosses at CNN as well.  I guess they weren’t invited to Rick’s career strategy session prior to his comments, because they sacked him immediately.  Thus ends the legacy of Blurty Sanchez.

Or does it?  Could it be that even the firing was part of Rick’s master plan?  Perhaps this is his Steven Slater moment, and now he’s just waiting for someone to offer him a reality TV show.  Anyone who thinks this is a terrible professional strategy doesn’t watch television…or at least not CNN.  The show that’s replacing Rick’s in his old time slot?  Spitzer and Parker, featuring none other than client number 9 himself, America’s most famous “John”, disgraced former governor/fetishist Elliot Spitzer.   Spitzer’s career trajectory is proof that there are indeed seconds acts in American life, especially if you do something collossally stupid that everyone hears about.  In fact, I’m wondering if Rick didn’t consult with Spitzer before unleashing his own personal Jew-Gate on the world.

So to Blurty Sanchez,  if setting yourself on fire (professionally speaking) was your plan all along, I say bravo. Sure, you’ll have to walk the wilderness a few weeks, maybe go on a nationwide contrition tour,  but don’t worry.  If you stick the landing on this, there could be a career in syndicated radio (no doubt talking about how Jew bigots control the media),  a tell-all book that launches a series of lucrative speaking engagements, and possibly even a shot on Dancing with the Stars (or maybe you can teach gym on Tony Danza’s show – you’ve got the build for it).   About the only things that could really fuck this up are a) the discovery of kiddie porn on your hard drive, or b) going to a barbecue at Mel Gibson’s house.    Right now, though, you’ve got something everyone in TV wants – the public’s attention. That you lack talent, wisdom, intellectual curiosity, circumspection, humility, humour, empathy, or grace is no problem at all – an important lesson for aspiring Better Men like myself who are still trying to make it.

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